First pancake
Let's goooooo!
Hello, and welcome to This Week in Scams, a newsletter that is exactly what it sounds like, unless I decide differently, which I almost definitely will.
Joanne is our patron saint.
If you live in my bubble, and I'm pretty sure you do, then you have had a w~e~e~k. Scams all over the place, and still ongoing—smart money says the Buffy villains in charge are, as I write this, on their way to confirm a character from your boyfriend's Animal House/Handmaid's Tale slashfic to a lifetime appointment of threatening my bodily autonomy.
Let's see if we can maneuver our souls out from under the crushing weight of that anvil, and ease on into the soothing world of mass incarceration. On Wednesday, The Appeal (BTW: they have one of the best newsletters in the game, and you should subscribe if you like what you see here but want it every day and much more thorough) published a grim AF story by Victoria Law about how Louisiana is keeping people behind bars long after their sentences have expired.
"That sounds… illegal," I can hear all 13 of you saying in unison (JK, there are only 12—please tell your friends to subscribe!!!). It sure is!
“The law is clear,” William Most, [Ellis Ray] Hicks’s attorney, told The Appeal. “Once a prisoner’s sentence has expired, the jailor has a reasonable amount of time to process and release him. That reasonable time can vary—in some circumstances, even 30 minutes can be illegal. But the courts have reached a consensus that the reasonable time must be less than 48 hours.”
In addition to Hicks, who was locked up for four months past his initial release date and whose aunt was forced to delay surgery during that time, the story details other men's experiences, including one who was imprisoned for 598 days past his scheduled release. That is a true, motherflipping scam right there.
So how come people who have paid their debt to society (lol, that's a scam for another day) get stuck in prison for longer than their sentences? We can thank the good, old fashioned culprits of most dysfunction: Disorganization and human error. Basically, files don't get processed when they should or the way they should and meanwhile incarcerated people are SOL. As Law notes, "There’s no system in place, either on the local or state levels, for incarcerated people themselves to fix these errors—or to get in touch with someone who can help."
The hallmark of a good con is the ability to claim innocence when you get busted, and there is no better alibi than a paperwork error. The god Hannah Arendt explains this better than I do (you subscribed for searing political philosophy #takes, right?):
In a fully developed bureaucracy there is nobody left with whom one could argue, to whom one could present grievances, on whom the pressures of power could be exerted. Bureaucracy is the form of government in which everybody is deprived of political freedom, of the power to act; for the rule by Nobody is not no-rule, and where all are equally powerless we have a tyranny without a tyrant.
What's another word for a tyrant? A scammer. And what's a scammer? A friend who just hasn't robbed you yet. Thanks for reading my first pancake. WB ASAP w/ thoughts and feelingz.
xoxo
Ruthie B.
PS: While we're on the subject of criminal justice, this list looks great (though I haven't read a single one).
My week in consumption:
I'm absolutely loving Sex and Rage by Eve Babitz
This story about an expert witness who testifies on behalf of accused child abusers is WILD, and I dare you not to feel a way while looking at the portrait of him.
“We do what the fuck we want to do. Period.”
This recipe is both legit easy and a true crowd pleaser (I skip the lettuce when I make it for myself).
Couldn’t have put it better.
Don't have heroes unless they're teens who seduce nazis and shoot them.
How did I miss that there is a Little Drummer Girl adaptation happening on the BBC? I’m bummed they waited until Carey Mulligan aged out of playing Charlie, but better late than never. #LeCarreForever
Can't stop won't stop with Gritty memes.